Backpack.... memories cherished

What's New for this New Years day....

2010-12-31T08:46:00.000-08:00

And another year ends as such, which naturally starts a New Year. We will see lots of ppl saying about resolutions and choices to make for this year too, but what I understand from the ppl whom I have known and from my own experience is that there is hardly going to be any change in the attitude, character or approach of the community we live, Like to rearticulate what sujith said, each day is no different from New Years day, and to make a right choice, we need not wait for this only day .. Cheers..

"What a Caterpillar sees an an end of the day, is a new beginning for a butterfly" - From Richard Bach's "Illusions"

My understanding on LIFE..

2010-05-27T08:50:00.001-07:00

The people who are reading this needs to go through an epilogue about me and my views, I can be described as someone who has never reached the maximum height in any faces of this materialistic world, be it education, money, fame, or possession. And hence whatever I jolt down in this space might be slightly or at times completely contrary to what your beliefs and experience thought you. It can also happen that there is a disagreement in views as you may be on top in one of these above mentioned area like education, money, fame or possession. And I can’t discard the possibility of your mind mocking me for I am the unprivileged narrator of this whole thing.

I am sharing my thoughts about a four letter word called LIFE, and it’s ironic that it was easier to understand what my name meant, which is three times bigger when we quantify with the discrete called alphabet, than what life is.

What life meant to me..? I would like to start with my childhood, where it meant abundance, and it meant peaceful existence. The one general reasoning for this could be that I longed for many small things in my childhood which my parents struggled to make me experience. Predominantly materialistic desire and I wanted those materialistic existences along with peaceful atmosphere. Years passed and when I passed out of the first level of a job fetch able education, I started working out to fulfil this materialistic desire. I squandered, schemed and toiled my days to make money so that I can get the things which constitutes LIFE.

I Added gadgets, bike, drinks, food, movies books, and many other things which my mind once desired or which my mind desired at that point of time, but unfortunately I did not find it as fulfilling, I felt that these materialistic things do not have life, and they are not giving me something which I desire to get, and if I am to think what I desired I had no answers. I then came up to a conclusion that I desire something living, which is materialistic and which can respond to what my mind or emotions says. And I found the closest of a thing which matches my need explained in another four letter word called GIRL. By this time I was far ahead in my career, I stopped education, but I still believe I learned more that education would have thought, and I started searching the so called LIFE giving GIRL. Since I was not keen on any materialistic things I left all I possessed where I was and started the search.

I searched, with lots of energy and plight to find something which I believed would make me feel happy, peaceful and enriched. And after drilling out 86 people I found out someone who I felt can replace my requirement. The problem started here, the so called angel never accepts anyone so easily, and we need to make deals to her mind and for that whatever I felt is not needed just before should be bought back to my atmosphere. And this was the first time I realised that it’s not what I am mentally which makes me, but it’s the surrounding which I possess which make the real Me

I started from where I left off, from a splendour to unicorn, from Nokia 1100 to SE 810i, from hamam to cintol, from Tamarind to Louis Philippe and from single to committed. There was joy, excitement, pleasure, and over and above there was sense of love and care. I felt I unearthed something which many have not noticed; I felt the LIFE is simply another four letter word for LOVE. I was mystic, and I felt I reached the summit, and I was confident that I understood what most of the others did not understand, I felt the meaning of life as simple, for me at that point of time life was something to be LIVED with your LOVED one. It has nothing to do with any material. But then suddenly as it happens in the monsoon, the thunderbolt struck, the latest addition to my poignant mind made me understand that I am far behind what others are in terms of education, money and fame, and it was dismal to learn that they are essential part to understand what LIFE is, and I by this time had lost most of them, in such a distance that I cant reach back and take them, now the four letter need called GIRL disappeared from my life, and I reached back to my initial state with a difference of loosing those materialistic things, and as I was believing I had found out what life meant, I was never prepared for a surprise, and I thought this is what called life is, and I thought I learned it the hardest way. There was no hope in living, and I had run out of time, it was depressing and sad, but then I was told that the choice is always mine and I can continue or quit. I decided to continue my quest, I went to meditation camps, I found people around pills and physiatrists, I found few others looking for new love and life as if nothing has ever happened to them in past and after an year, I found someone who listened to my experience, the person whom I dumped when I begin my quest to learn, and I have now a meaning to the whole thing, the thing called LIFE, I believe its love. Material gets worn out, we never remember the colour of our favourite toy which we played at age 5, we don’t remember how much money was given to me for vishu when I was 10 years, we don’t remember how much was I thinking to earn when I was in my first job.

But I do remember how my mom treated us, there was love, how my brother and sister treats, that’s love, how I felt when with my best buddy, there was love. The thing which I feel will never change is our desire to be loved and to love, materialistic need change and will never makes us happy, My mother loved me even before I went to school, and she still loves me even after I preach statistics. What I mean here is she never looked for my qualification or earnings; all she looked was for happiness. For all people who things LIFE can be explained by a combination of money, fame, qualification and of course a bit of love, then I would like you to think well. Living with someone whom loves us despite Money, Material, fame and qualification is eternal. Stick to the ones you love, it’s not because they will not leave you, but it’s because your love will never leave YOU.

I too was in love, and am in love with this life. And I will live it such a way that my life loves me.

Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.
- Martin Luther King, Jr

My understanding on LIFE..

2010-05-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

An Illusionist called TIME…..

2010-04-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

10 Minutes before 6 PM, today, I was commenting on, Cognizant CEO Franks Blog and it was business, that followed by mental preparation of strategy for the next wave of Green Belt Training and six Sigma deployment. As clock chimed 6, I remembered that I am in my home in Ottapalam not for the regular weekend but for a special and specific occasion, the wedding of my school mate and friend of last 16 years – the un describable HARISH.
Dressed up and started to the reception with my routine thought of ducking out all in the function, meet him and scoot out of picture. And what happened was totally against the conspiracy my mind had preplanned.

Met him with a big tight embrace, never felt better in last 10 years with him, it reminded me the way we used to embrace when winning match in NSS ( we used to play cricket by skipping class) and Harish was a strong alley for me those days. Be it cricket, skipping classes or roaming around. The reminiscence of our teenage was so heavy that I it made my mind ask “Why you missed to do a root cause analysis on these Mr. Black belt”

We Squandered years scheming and toiling, and what we never counted was what we had in turn lost along these years, and at times it takes such kind of these embraces to reminds us that there are better and priceless things than what we mull over as pricey.

The mind which thought about strategies 10 mins before marriage reception started thinking about the days when I played cricket with my buddies, the captaincy of Karthik and my role as show manager, the typewriting classes in rain, the collage elections, Games during Strike at sujith’s house, sujith’s left and right handed bowling ( which at time has us question about which is his real strong arm ;) ) the dominance of Dilip’s Bowling, the letters I used to write using INLAND to sujith Krishnan, and many more.

Suchlike it is the ugliest legitimacy will still be that I should be defining strategy for my survival from Monday… But what I hope to communicate here is, Break your time for few mins, rewind your life to 10 years back, and visualize, you are sure be enthralling and reliving…..

Wishing Harish a happy married life … :)

Manoeuvre between the technology and me……

2010-01-21T08:31:00.000-08:00

The intrusions of mind is the hardest of the things which we face time and again, and often in such intrusions one goes and searches for cover or shade, the intrusions at times resembles the piercing heat or even at times the hardest or those heavy rains, and we run to get into our sheds or shades, never the less we seldom get out unhurt or to the best case at least a slightest of disconfirming would have accompanied us.

If we spin around for a moment, and get back to this unattractive writing from a kind of insane, and whose blog, incidentally is being followed by not so insane followers, and of which one is following just because I happened to be the person claiming to be her best buddy :), then we will be forced to say with or without pleasure that what technology has bought us all a different life. The internet is the most beautiful example of Institutionalization. The mobile phones will be another example. When I travel back to my first job, it’s hard to believe that I never had a phone with 10 digits to reach me. And ironic it is to think that my boss once mentioned me of a story where her appraisal rating getting down just because she was not reachable in mobile.

Getting back to intrusions of mind, I am really wondering if not for all, at least for most, our mind get in to the kind of shell from which it tries to break out and find one of those shades. The Technology bought us the fun, and we enjoyed it, and if an unworthy statement can find its way to this blog then I feel that most of the guys got their problems through the so called GF through this technology. :) I love to call them cyber relations.

Looking back 9 years, the early Y2K era, (though I have still not understood what Y2K exactly is) I used to get may be some 20 mails in a year, and I did not have any mobile and hence no personal calls or msg. I checked my mails 4 times a month and absolutely no so called cyber relations and most importantly though I was not as connected, I was happy and never felt the pressure of finding a cover. The years passed so quickly that now we get at least 50 mails a day of which nearly 10 mails we fail to understand why we got it for, we no longer go and browse for mails, the mobile pops a sound or vibrates when a mail comes, and if we don’t find a mail when our mobile cries then we find someone has used SHORT MESSAGE SERVICE though its not really so short. Else it’s a call from someone ranging from the people who chase you to have some plastic money in name or our credit worthiness to the Manager of the team to whom we are committed to accept that what ever he says is right. People who have never seen any berry in their lives or in that matter not even had seen a shrub talks about their addiction to Black berry.

Such a big prelude for a simple thing which I want to say you all, that I need a break from technology and everything… :)And I am dreaming of strawberry not the blackberry when I am signing off now. :)

As usual, Signing off with a quote:
I like my new telephone, my computer works just fine, my calculator is perfect, but Lord, I miss my mind!
Bye for all…..

Old Memories haunts me again ……….

2009-08-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

August 28th 2005, If my memory is not so easy to beat as the team which get beaten in a match of cricket , then I would remember this day as one of the most disappointed day for me, both as an Australian cricket fan and as a person. The forth test of the famous 2005 ashes Series ended on this day, when England chased one of those modest 4th innings total to beat Australia in the 5 match test series. The victory pivoted the great English possession of The Ashes for the first time in 16 years.
The very English Victory established a fact that there needs to be some special force to beat few robust shields and in this case, I feel it was the mind play which I feel killed the Ashes dream for Australia.
The significance of the Ashes loss by Australia and its links to me do not end with me being a measly cricketing fan, But The day also signifies one of the biggest losses for me in my career where in I was back stabbed by my friend and colleague on the verge of getting unquestionably selected for Saint Gobain. It was then I understood the need for an extra force in addition to the strength and attitude to keep us winning. And I am happy to say that I learned it quickly to win 100% on every other time after Saint Gobain.
The epilogue ended the day I realised this fact, that I never lost after Saint Gobain, I was feeling unbeatable in attitude and strength, and then, exactly 4 years after the last defeat, I lost again, on the very same date, and on the area which I never expected to get defeated. It made me learn the toughest lesson, that, we at times are too confident after long innings of success, that we often forget our limitations and mistakes, And occasional defeats keeps us revisit the ME, to make me stronger and tougher.

I would like to end this brief with a famous Quote from former President of United states Richard M.Nixons Quote “You've got to learn to survive a defeat. That's when you develop character.”

And ironically, Australia lost ASHES in England on 24th of August 2009………

An obsession called Mazha……..

2009-07-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

If I am asked to say something of human bondage, William Somerset Maugham’s “Of Human Bondage” comes second to the thought that the bondage towards mind and its commitments. The context of this msg will be slightly unclear or even will deserve a contempt or scorn. But the point of this whole prelude is that protagonist of this posting which ideally should have been either Sujith or Ramya changed to The RAIN, and to be precise the Monsoon which enters through Kerala ,which, is one of few things which enthralls me.
The immaculate rain which makes its entry to India through Gods own country, brings in itself the fragrance of love and Optimism. And as it washes our soil, so it washes our mind from all the bad thoughts and makes it clean for intrusion of new thoughts which will be as cool and as sweet as the rain itself.

My memories of monsoon goes back to the school days, and specifically it starts with my days spent in Ottapalam, the pictures of small streams of gushing waters in my school ground and the rustling sound which comes from the roof of the school. Which made me often to think that these roofs as our guards which shields the arrows of nature which are in form of rain drops, but the concealed truth is that, I never felt a frisson to face these arrows by myself. The word “rain” also reminds me of the temple which we, (now, we is not neha ;) , its my brother.) used to go for worship, the lamps which withholds the strong wind and the hustling sound of rain which tries to over come the powerful drums from within the temple. The very feel of monsoon also reminds me of the English cricket, and to be much more precise it reminds me of the 1997 Ashes series which Australia won after a great start by England.

These are few of those feelings which comes to my mind, And I am most certain that it will qualify for one of those unworthy readings for u. But I would like to appeal to all those who have never experienced the majestic entry of rain in June, I would like to say them, Boy... Come to my home and experience it. It had sanitized me from many of my past intriguing thoughts and it will surely sanitize all who feel it, we need not have the memories of schooling in Ottapalam or in that aspect u need not be a fan of Ashes cricket too. All u need is a heart to listen to nature and she will listen to u and console from ur ambiguities…….

As always, I would like to sign off this posting with a famous Quote “Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”

The return of dragons....

2009-05-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

I suppose the end is always the same and it’s inevitable. There need to be an end to every thing which we have started, and each end is for a new beginning, there is a famous Quote, and if my memory is good, I recall it as from richad bach, “What a caterpillar sees as an end of its life is a new beginning for a butterfly.” And so hear I go with a new beginning from today.
The understanding, which I had obtained with these almost limited interactions with people I had, is that the majority of the people have the so called UNSAID stories and incidentally they remain unsaid till the end. It might not be often dignified or newsworthy, but still at the end they count for each one’s new beginning or end. And often we get over these so called unsaid stories as we are bound to be dynamic and for sure will be dynamic at one point of time.

Now coming back to the commitment I have made implicitly about continuing my blogging about inspirations, I should let all know my views that these inspirations are the catalyst which speeds up the Dynamic U in everyone. The more u have people who have good positive influence in u, the faster u become dynamic to this world of unsaid stories. And for me, I have given an end to one of those stories, which in turn marks a beginning of a new one … ;)

If I am not to be unfastidious on myself, then I should mention two names now, and both had a seminal role in my making. My long time friend from school – Sujith and my buddy rums.

And with this I sign of the day …… will comeback with sujith at another dawn…

Bless all …

The Curtain Raises for a new Play... :)

2009-05-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today I happened to read my own blog and I started off with the first post, It was quite surprising that the energy has shifted from the so called confident and inspiring to a sort of curse and dull accusation, and incidentally right after that I happened to talk to one of my best buddy called neha, there was something which hit me really hard when she spoke and that was the word DYNAMIC. It could not have come on a better time than today as I was really going through the sad emotions of my immediate past when she said that the so called sadness ruled me now because I am not dynamic to changes, though that supports my just preceding post, that there is no true love or true love is not permanent, it evokes a new claim that there Is love all around and its we who need to take it up as and when needed. Now there can be obvious arguments that love cannot be dynamic, but what I understand is that there are few other neha who is wanting the one which I am not giving to anyone now and if all stays like the way I am now, then the whole vehicle cant move.

The whole argument at this juncture is not that we all should forget what happened yesterday and never care for our emotions, but its that we need to get on to this so called dynamic world at some point of time, the Quickest the best. There are definitely things which are waiting for us and when I say US, its Just each one of us and us alone. I hope this is going to be a great way to end up my today’s blog and I hope to get back to the old topic of my inspirations from tomorrow.

Like to remember few words from the song of Brendan Benson - What I'm Looking for Lyrics

“Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Till there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice…….”

The colours of True love ….

2009-05-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Off lately I started feeling that there is nothing called as true love, we stumble upon people whom, if we like, scheme and toil to make the relationship happy and fruitful. But what I understood from the so called past relationship is that there is an element of selfishness in each relation which we maintain, be it girlfriend – boyfriend, be it husband-wife, or in that matter even office colleagues and people who just fool around. I had one relation where in I dedicated the entire Me and in return just got a habit of speaking all alone at times, as she was listening to someone else who had newer stories and had a better job and life. My views may be slightly or at times would have been completely contrary to what some of you have experienced. May be I am not the most lucky one of this reading lot who feel like there is something else beyond this which will bring light to a complete picture. But as for now... Views of me are expressed… and u have the liberty to defend…..

Just like to remind the famous Charlie Chaplin quotes “Nothing Is permanent in this wicked world, Not even your troubles” and If I suppose go with this logic... Then either love is also not permanent or we are not living in a wicked world...

Ode to Neha...

The 3 best of the lot..... Srini, Sujith and Ramya

2009-04-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

And they influenced my life.....

2008-10-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

Some times we see people who propel our mind, and enable us to transform to a different level.. They are those special people whom we, without our knowledge allow to take them a role of a freeware... they at times makes us change few proprieties of our character or they may propel new Ambitions and Targets, or otherwise They make us to change our lifestyle on few cases....

As like all, My inspirations from my Parents were never ending, I still believe that My mom is the only women I have seen with a strongest heart, and the best thing I learned from her is that we should believe that there is a good future ahead....

I intend to scribble about few of the memorable people who has had a bigger role in making me do what I am doing now...
Thanks to All....
Me